Friendships are often one of the most enjoyable and fulfilling parts of our lives. Not only do they provide us with company to engage in enjoyable activities, but they enrich our lives through shared meaning. Support systems have been linked to higher levels of happiness and improved overall health. While some friendships may only last for certain periods of time, others extend over a lifetime, and most of us recognize these relationships as some of the most important we will have. Even for people who generally feel they don't have trouble making friends, there are stages in life when this task may seem more difficult, leaving us feeling lonely or doubting our abilities to connect to others. If this feels like it is true for you, or you've noticed that this might be the case for your child, here are some ideas that might help in this process.

Children
With all the exciting activities that occur at this age, children may feel overwhelmed with the task of fitting in with their peers. Although you want their education to come first, making friends is most likely to be at the top of their agenda, and is also important to their development. Here are a few ways you can help your children establish relationships with their peers:

1. Teach your child important social skills that are essential to establishing and maintaining friendships such as sharing, listening, following rules, and playing fair. Allow your child to participate in events and activities that enable them to practice and implement these social skills. You can reinforce positive social interactions through verbal praise and, if this is something that is a real challenge for your child, through a structured reward system.

2. Provide opportunities for your child to play and socialize with other children their age such as play dates, sleepovers, car pooling, and extra-curricular activities. They should interact with their peers from school and in your neighborhood.

3. Read books with your children that teaches them about friendships and social skills.

4. It isn't uncommon for children to be timid or anxious about making friends. Be attentive to any red flags that your child may display that could indicate he or she is having trouble such as throwing tantrums, withdrawal from you more than is normal for them, or other changes in behavior or emotions.

Teenagers
During the teenage years, your son or daughter will encounter many possibilities to make friends such as participating in athletics, attending school events, and participating in extracurricular school activities. This is also a time when 'fitting in' and feeling connected to peers seems the most important to them, so not feeling part of a group or connected to people can feel especially difficult during these years. Here are some ways to help your teen navigate their social world:

1. Let your teen see how you interact with your friends. Because they are entering the young adult phase, it is important for them to see examples of mature, adult interactions. This can also help your teen better understand how positive friendships in adulthood look. If they are willing to go, take your teen to lunch with you and a friend.

2. Encourage your teen to partake in social activities that would enable him or her to meet other teens. This can include going to the movies, attending a dance, or eating dinner with a group of their peers. You can use your home as a 'safe' location for teens to hang out, yet still have adult supervision, by giving them a private area or room to spend time.

3. Talk to your teen about the meaning and importance of friendships. Discuss what makes someone a "good friend" and how to resolve conflicts and/or manage meaningful friendships they may have with others.

4. Monitor how your teen interacts with their friends. If you feel he or she is in an unhealthy relationship with one of their peers, attempt to provide guidance.

Post college-graduates
The college years provide young adults with numerous opportunities to meet new people as well as gain unique experiences. However, upon graduating, many people find it difficult or overwhelming with having to "start over" and meet new people, especially when relocating to a new town or city. Here are some ways that might help you connect to others after college:

1. Get involved in your local community. Join clubs, teams, or other extra-curricular and/or service based groups that allow you to meet and interact with others on a weekly basis. Working with others to reach a common goal is a great way to connect, and takes some of the pressure off this process, as you already share a common interest.

2. Invite people to engage in some sort of activity such as going to lunch, getting coffee or a drink, or hanging out at your place.

3. If you're shy or lacking in confidence, don't be discouraged because these feelings are not uncommon. Talk to someone else who has dealt with this stage of life, too.

Adulthood
As we enter adulthood, we often feel settled into patterns of making and maintaining friendships. However, many people feel dissatisfied with their outlets for social connection or the number of people to whom they truly feel close. When we are set in our ways, we can lack imagination regarding ways and places to connect to others. Here are some ideas about how to connect to new friends as adults:

1. Attend functions in your community that cater to something you are interested in but may not have tried before. This enables you to interact with people who you will begin to see on a regular basis. This could be joining a local charity with regular volunteer hours, or taking classes at a community center.

2. Join a group that involves doing something you enjoy yet keeps you active such as a yoga class or a golf club. This allows you to meet people with common interests, providing conversation starters that help take the pressure off the anxiety provoking introduction and connection process.

3. Invite family over for dinner. You can consider choosing members you feel most close or comfortable with or those who you want to get to know better, and set a theme for a dinner party. If you are in a relationship, consider having favorite members of both yours and your partner's family over together. This can deepen pre-existing relationships and lead to more regular family events and connections.

If you find your child or yourself having a little more difficulty making friends than you would like, speaking with a psychologist may help identify barriers and provide ideas for help moving past them.

If you think yoga is for the thirty-plus set alone, it may come as a surprise that children as young as preschoolers actually enjoy striking a pose. While they do not attempt headstands, there are a number of simple moves that the young enthusiasts can perform. The exercises themselves last between thirty seconds to one minute, but children stay in a pose as per their capacity, which builds gradually with practice.

Many of the yoga positions resemble animal movements and elements in nature, which is why kids easily take to stretching their bodies like a cat or balancing like a flamingo. The poses spark the little ones’ imagination and promote awareness of their bodies’ abilities.

Instructors too afford children freedom to explore, and incorporate creative techniques and age-appropriate props to playfully lead them through the active and relaxation poses. So unlike in a class for adults your tots can flap their imaginary wings, make barking sounds in the dog pose or be still as the mountain for as long as they wish. In the process they develop strong, flexible bodies, better motor skills, and learn to calm down and focus.

Yoga also presents ways to overcome fear, anger and frustration. It has been found to aid hyperactive kids in channeling their impulses, and therapeutic in children with special needs. Thus this exercise system that dates back more than 5000 years fosters the overall development of children and unlocks their potential through the formative years. Yoga programs for kids offered across the country are providing that early start. From being a trendy discipline, yoga is gaining acceptance among parents too. In fact, some of the classes are open to parents so you have a wonderful activity to share with your child.

This is just the beginning. As your kids grow so do the ways in which the physical skills and meditation techniques derived from yoga can make a difference. An after school yoga session serves as excellent exercise without the pressure of competitive student sports. The holding of postures and synchronizing of breadth and movement enhance fitness. Hatha yoga which is the more widely practiced form in the West has several styles so there is flexibility in choosing a workout suited to the individual’s physical capability and personality type. For instance ashtanga yoga with it’s challenging sequence of poses performed at a faster pace is akin to athletic training while viniyoga is less demanding physically and focuses on precise coordination of breath with the movement of the spine.

Regular practice builds strength, energy and muscle tone, boosts bodies vital systems, and improves concentration and coordination. These benefits help your child be a better sportsman as well as a better student. Beyond that, the essence of yoga is to bring the mind and body together to attain inner peace so it promotes self-appreciation, serenity and a sense of balance. Hence your preteen or teen acquires the inner resources to cope with the stresses of adolescence, keeping disorders and addictions at bay.

Even if you may not know much about yoga it is not difficult to bring home it’s many positive effects to your family. Towards this end you can attend a yoga class taught by a qualified instructor or self-study using books and videos. Resources such as The Yoga Site (http://www.yogasite.com) and Yoga Journal (http://www.yogajournal.com) educate on the philosophy and practice of yoga, guide you on how to perform various poses as well as assist in locating a teacher in your area.

When practicing the postures with your four year old or your twelve year old at home a little bit of improvisation and spontaneity keeps the workout interesting and it becomes an activity that they look forward to doing with you. As you interact at their level, you will find discovering yoga with your child to be a rewarding experience in more ways than one.

Originally posted on CharlotteMommies