<div align="center"><a href="http://caldeltamommies.blogspot.com/2010/12/do-you-ever-go-man-what-am-i-going-to.html" title="" target="_blank"><img src="http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c384/mccullar2/food2-1.jpg" alt="" style="border:none" /></a></div>

It’s so easy to complain about our teens. I know I’m guilty of too often dishing out criticisms, admonishments, and lectures. I worry that my boys might be doing drugs, drinking, or some other peer-pressure stupidity.  But, they also deserve my support when they do well and my understanding when they slip up.


My 16-year-old, Will, recently bounded into my office, eager to talk.  Wisely, I pulled away from the hypnotic lure of my computer, and faced him squarely, ready for whatever followed.
Normally, when Will comes to talk to me, I am concerned that he either wants something or is going to confess something that I wish I didn’t have to hear.  This time, I listened.  And I listened and I listened.  I smiled, I nodded, I grunted.  But, mostly I listened.  He had made a remarkable discovery!  What was this remarkable revelation? “Life is complicated and full of wonder and amazing things. Where did life come from?  Why do we sleep?  How does our brain work?  Why are there different languages and how did they evolve?”  He literally rambled off these and other subjects, as if he’d just discovered the wheel!


Will didn’t want me to offer any feedback: he just wanted to share with me his marvelous realizations. I just sat there and patiently let him passionately express these extraordinary questions.  After maybe 15 minutes, he didn’t need me anymore and jumped up and left to call his girlfriend and share with her what he’d just voiced.

Later, as we were all getting ready for bed, he came into our bedroom, where my wife was lying down reading, and I had just come in to get ready for bed.  He leaped on our chaise lounge, fell off to the side, and scrambled up laughing at his clumsiness.  He then proclaimed, “I love this family,” and proceeded to elaborate for a couple more minutes.


My wife and I actually wondered if Will had taken some drugs, as he seemed so high.  But, he hadn’t, and was apparently just being a teenager--a teen enjoying the “wonder-full-ness” of life.

That is my point.  The older we get, the more we forget the wonder of youth, the wonder of being a teenager--discovering new worlds to explore and the new ideas that we feel are just ours. (Okay, let’s hear the Star Trek theme now).


Being a teenager means discovering the world.  I think adults too often squash that sense of wonder with the desire to have our kids conform. That was my discovery during the short 18 months that I home-schooled Will, since the lack of conforming public school curriculum and class management allowed Will to learn so much more than he otherwise would have under the structure of public school.  It’s why I believe home-schooling is really much better for some kids and, at the time, was the very best thing I could have done for Will.

The job of parents is to introduce our children to the world, to give them exposure to as much as we can, and to allow them to choose their paths.  I know that early in my parenting, I had my ideas of what I wanted for my sons that were based on my own particular interests and desires.  Fortunately, I got over that selfish instinct and ended up supporting my boys’ own interests and dreams. I know too many parents that are single-minded in pushing their kids in the directions these parents think is best while not taking into consideration their kids interests, skills, and desires.


This is dramatically evident in the sports arena, where kids are sometimes literally forced to participate in a sport in which they have no interest.  The reason is simply the parents’ ego and vicarious desire to live through their kids.  It is so wrong.  We also see this in the over-the-top push that parents often inflict on their kids to excel at school so that they can get into this or that college that the parents deem best for their child.

I wonder if it ever occurred to those parents that their son or daughter might actually be better off with a year off between high school and college? Or, maybe not even going to college! Not every kid should go to college. Couldn’t college wait a year or two while these high school grads explore life on their own? Maybe they can see a bit more of the world rather than just continue in what can be the cocoon of education and parental (financial) support?


I may have wanted my sons to be great skiers, or get into an Ivy League college, but now I want them to fulfill their own passions and find the same joy in what they do that I’ve been blessed to find in my writing and now, my radio show as well.  I urge you to do the same!




Please listen to “The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad’s Point-of-View” Thursdays at 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m., PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream.  For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://brucesallan.com. Bruce’s column, “A Dad’s Point-of-View,” is available in over 75 newspapers and web-sites worldwide. Find Bruce on Facebook by joining his “A Dad’s Point-of-View” page: http://www.facebook.com/aDadsPointOfView. You can also follow Bruce at Twitter: http://twitter.com/BruceSallan. 




If you'd like to contribute to the TMN blog, please email blogpost@themommiesnetwork.org

Relay For Life of Santa Clarita
Sat 9am to Sun 9am, May 22-23, 2010 at Central Park

We have 104 days left until Relay!


Fighting cancer is a team effort. The impact we can make together is much greater than what any of us could do alone.

At Relay, our team will camp out overnight and take turns walking around the track to raise money and awareness to help the American Cancer Society save more lives from cancer.

By joining or donating to our team, you will be a part of a life-changing event that gives everyone in the community a chance to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against a disease that takes too much.

Help us create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/scvalleymommies

Click on the above link to join our team or donate. And if you would like to help out in raising funds or volunteer the day of Relay, please e-mail me, Melissa@SCValleyMommies.com

A big thanks to Cassie Girl Cosmetics for being a special sponsor by donating the registration fee & T-shirts to our Team Members

When I asked my daughter what she wanted for Christmas this year, she told me there was nothing that she wanted. Later I overheard her saying to her brother that she was excited to go to Grandma’s house for Christmas, not for the presents, but to spend time with family.

Boy, did those two comments warm my heart. However, I know when present unwrapping time comes she’ll want to tear open presents just as much as the next person.

Looking back on my own childhood, yes, I do remember getting a bike one year, which I was very pleased to receive. However, the presents that I remember most are ones that didn’t cost a lot of money. They were creatively wrapped and the three that I remember best of all were edible.

First, aware that I was a Violet Beauregarde of a gum chewer, my uncle gave me my very own jumbo-sized box of gumballs. I remember wondering what could be inside the wrapped box he had given me, and being delighted when I uncovered my whopping supply of chewing gum.

Another year, I remember a friend of the family placing a wrapped mandarin orange in my stocking. Not only was I excited that he had brought me a gift, but his present tickled my funny bone as well.

Finally, I remember my grandmother giving me my very own box of neatly packaged handmade cookies. What could be better than a personal stash of favorite cookies sitting in a pretty handmade box?

Looking past the edible gifts while staying focused on dear Grandma, I recall that she was also an expert at creating captivatingly wrapped packages. Her shopping bags usually contained an assortment of individually wrapped, inexpensive, but amusing toys and trinkets she had collected over the year.

So this year as I contemplate what to give my children, I remind myself that the spirit of Christmas is not about how big or expensive the gifts I give are (even though advertising is pushing to convince me otherwise). Christmas giving is about the love and thought put behind the gifts, no matter how small that gift is or how much money it cost.

I admit it does help that my daughter has an attitude of gratitude instead of a case of the gimmies. It is her attitude that will help give me the courage to wrap an orange, a gigantic box of chewing gum, or a homemade box of cookies.

It is my hope that those inexpensive, yet significant gifts will create smiling memories to look back on for a lifetime.
 
Read more by author, Linda Hatton, at Suite101, the whatnot shop, and Deliberate Creations.

When I go to the grocery store to buy a particular item, the number of products on the shelf causes my head to spin. I can understand why people stick to one brand. It’s much less time consuming to grab the same product time after time than it is to read through all of the fine print on the bottles while trying to compare them all.

The older I get, it seems the less time I have. I remember my parents making comments about this when I was younger. It didn’t seem possible to me as a child since every day seemed to stretch on forever.

Now that I’m juggling the activities of two busy children, homework, housecleaning, cooking, laundry, and trying to fit my own interests into all of that, I can understand the way my parents felt. I’ve often thought that life was simpler back then and in some ways, it was.

Before you disagree with me, understand that this was the world I grew up in. It may be a generalization. It doesn’t describe everyone’s upbringing, but it does describe mine.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have to sit in car seats. I could ride my bike to the other side of town and my parents felt safe about it. Yes, there were certain foods that weren’t the healthiest, but the dangers weren’t as obvious so we ate whatever we wanted. I could play in the front yard without my parents worrying about who was driving by. At the same time, since the Internet did not exist, my parents did not have to worry about who I was chatting with on-line.

Not only that, but there were also fewer companies offering fewer products. It’s those products that contribute to my information overload so much that I often look for ways to make the most of my time. Not only is it important in my world, but it’s an important lesson to teach my kids.

Here are ten time saving tips I have come up with:

1. Designate a home for items that you use every day. Teaching children to put their shoes away in the same spot every time will prevent the last minute frantic search while heading out the door. 
2. For easily accessible organization, hang an over-the-door shoe holder on each bedroom door. Not only will this make clean-up time easier, but it will offer your children a home for their items (see tip 1).
3. Pack things away in colored containers for easy finding later. For example, store Halloween costumes in an orange tub.
4. Do laundry every day rather than letting it pile up. Have your kids help fold and put away the laundry. Wash socks, sorted by owner, in lingerie bags for easy pair matching later.
5. Place a notepad on your refrigerator to write your needed grocery items on when you think of them – and determine what you will need for the coming week. Then designate one time during the week for your main grocery trip and resist mini-trips during the week. 
6. Pay bills online rather than writing them out by hand. This also saves the expense of checks, stamps, and envelopes. 
7. Sort through and recycle unwanted mail when it arrives rather than letting it pile up. 
8. Shop ahead for birthday parties and Christmas from clearance sales. This will not only save you time, but money as well. 
9. During birthdays or holidays, when your children receive a large amount of toys, allow them to open one or two and put the rest away to open later (kind of like saving for a rainy day). 
10. Set a schedule and stick to it. For instance, have your kids practice their musical instruments at the same time every night. This way they will know to expect it rather than fighting against it. 

Establishing a routine is the key idea consistent in each of these tips. And these tips will not only help to save time but will also help to instill discipline in your children.

Read more by author, Linda Hatton, at Suite101, the whatnot shop, and Deliberate Creations.

Do you have great organizational and people skills? Are you looking for a part-time or full-time job that is flexible and fun that helps moms in your community? If so, The Mommies Network wants to hire someone just like you!

TMN Sponsorship Account Executive
This is a TMN position. There are no membership pre-requisites required to apply.
The Mommies Network is growing and as part of that growth, we need some good people in your market to help with sponsorships.

The Sponsorship Account Executive should be organized, have great time management skills, feel comfortable contacting local business and building relationships to find sponsors for the local site. This can be accomplished through phone calls, emails, and face to face appointments.

SAEs will be compensated with bonuses based upon successful sponsorship contracts and there are tremendous growth opportunities as the network continues to grow. If you are interested please send your resume to Rachelle Watkins: rachelle (at) themommiesnetwork (dot) org.

Since 2006, Macy’s Shop For A Cause Event has partnered with non-profit organizations nationwide to raise more than $28 million for their ongoing charitable efforts. This is your chance to be part of this monumental event

on Saturday, October 17, 2009.

Shop For A Cause gives you the opportunity to help SCValleyMommies.com by

purchasing a $5 Shopping Pass* for exclusive savings and special offers in every Macy’s store on Saturday, October 17th. As a participating charity we keep 100% of the proceeds from the sale of each pass. Plus, you can enter to win a $500 Macy’s Gift Card!

Come together with Macy’s and us, and while you’re out enjoy a day of shopping and great savings, you’ll be helping our community at the same time.

*Some exclusions apply. For more information or to order a shopping pass, call contact Rhi (Melissa/irishdreaming) at Melissa@SCValleyMommies.com.